Sunday, November 18, 2007

Cranksgiving Tooth Fairy

So, two years later and my second Cranksgivng, a rolling canned food drive that roves from supermarket to supermarket, this time STL style. Patrick and the good people of Bike Works put it together and it was more of a ride than a mad-dash scramble.

At the beginning of the ride, it was mentioned that the shelter we would be donating to needed toothbrushes. When we got to the first stop, I asked some people who volunteered at a local food pantry what I should buy. They said again that they needed dental hygene products. No effin' problem, everyone who matters knows that I'm a flossing machine. No canned corn for this man, I loaded up on teeth cleaning products. Five supermarkets and 16 bucks later, I had 10 tubes of toothpaste on special, two Spider Man kids toothbrush and toothpaste kits, some floss and a few bars of soap for good measure.

All in all, 72 people took in a crap ton of food and dental products, everyone had a great time and now I'm going to concentrate on drinking water.

Cranksgiving STL made it into the local paper

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

First Baby Pictures

Laura and I went to our first OB/GYN meeting yesterday. Dr. K, who is our other Dr. K's Wife, was pretty good. There wasn't any waiting, she was very pleasant and professional and was warm enough to make Laura feel comfortable. After only a brief meet and greet, we went to a little room, she turned on some mood lighting and shoved a condom-covered, sonogram probe up Laura's hoo-hoo.

And this, ladied and gentlemen, is what we saw:

What you don't get from the picture is the winking on and off of the heart beating very rapidly. Laura was very nervous about finding problems during this visit. I didn't think I was, but once I saw the heart beat, and saw that it wasn't in the tubes, it felt like someone had taken a bucket of relief and dumped it over my head.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Don't Try This At Home

I just wanted to add that in looking for the picture in the previous post I did a Google image search of "knocked up". If you have your filter turned off, like I did, you'll get a few images of Judd Apetow's movie, and a lot of shots of pregnancy porn.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Thanks A Lot Judd Apetow

I remember telling Laura after we saw "Knocked Up" that I coulnd't wait to see the DVD when it came out. I was actually clutching Laura's arm while the birth scene was happening. The movie holds up the second time around with the comedy as well, I've always been a fan of improv based shit.

Our first meeting with the OB/GYN is on Tuesday. It'll also be our first time meeting the OB/GYN who just happens to be the wife of our regular doctor. I'm not too sure what one is supposed to do in these meetings. My grandmother, my grandfather and my aunt were all OB/GYNs and so I'll be sure to get that one in. I always make a point to mentiion the doctors in my family whenever I'm having a frank doctor-patient about my own impending medical attention. It's not so much a hope that they'll have met them, but that I'll appeal to that part of their superego that's more afraid of looking like an ass in front of their peers than getting sued for malpractice. It's an unfair advantage, but I feel that the cards are stacked against me anyway and I might as well use whatever I've got.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Our Blueberry Sized Bundle of Joy

It's unclear to me how Laura gets through her day. She seems to move through the world in a vomitous cloud of pure fatigue. Not being able to eat a lot, I was a little worried about how that would effect the nutritional needs of the baby. Luckily, female biology is such that a fetus will happily eat the very marrow from the mothers bones.

As you might guess, I'm playing the part of the caretaker. Gone are the days of me basking in knowledge that my junk works and that my love of cycling hasn't destroyed my cajones. Now I wake up and have to change the cat litter for fear of giving Laura a harmful cat feces born disease and there is no one to walk the dog but me since Laura is out for the count.

Work is going well, I've jumping through requisite hoops to get everything ready for construction. Lots of people that I run into bitch about how difficult it is to get anything done in the city of St. Louis, but so far everything has gone off without a hitch. Bids are due this Friday, which is the 800 lb gorilla. I'm expecting some awful sticker shock, a little horse trading, a touch of whip-sawing and then finally picking one, closing the loan and getting down to business.

Monday, November 05, 2007


Laura is pregnant, but everyone says that it's a "we" thing, so yeah, while Laura is doing a great job of growing another human being in her womb, I too, am pregnant. I/Laura/we are due in late June. It was no accident, we meant to do it and it happened lickity split. Anyone who tells you that unprotected sex doesn't result in pregnancy is telling you a goddamned lie!

Laura turns 28 tomorrow and has reached her goal of being 28 and pregnant. Happy birthday baby.