Thursday, January 19, 2006

Violent, But Satisfying Fantasy



A couple of nights ago, I was watching "American Idol" with Laura. Some aspects of the show bothered me and my subconsious was good enough to right some of the wrongs as I slept.

That night, I had a dream that I was somehow cast on a reality show (not Idol). I figured that since I was basically going to be prodded and poked till I fit into whatever archetype the casting people had given me, that I would fuck with em'. Every time I opened my mouth I would be very articulate or just smile like a dope. Soon enough I was asked to leave and as I left the host of the show (Seacrest) said something to me that just didn't sit well as I left. I looked back at him and something about my stare spooked him, probably since I had been doing all that smiling, and he started to walk fast and then run in the opposite direction. I watched him run for a second, thought about chasing him, then though better of it, THEN though way better of it and started booking it like a motherfucker after him. I was running behind him and he was looking back and pumping his legs like a crazy person. I chased the smiley sonofabitch for about a quarter mile before he keeled over wheezing, looked as me then started blubbering for me not to hurt him. I think I either hit him once or made as if to hit him and he collapsed on the ground and pissed himself.

"Try not to get a hard-on." (from pissing himself. Dude, it totally made sense) I said, and walked off.

Now tell me, folks, what the hell was that all about?


2 comments:

JohnY. said...

All I can say is WOW! I think you're my new hero.

Hypthesis: Possibly your subconcious is pissed about the reality craze denegrating art in our country and given that idol is a direct feed into that(creating pop stars through reality TV), you had to kick the crap out of him.

Or maybe you just find Seacrest excruciatingly annoying.

Either way, awesome dream!

Wes said...

Frank, when you said "Try not to get a hard-on," maybe you were speaking to yourself. Lord knows if I just chased down and beat the Noxzeema out of Seacrest's head, I'd have to restrain myself from getting a full on woody.